STOP. KEEP. RISKS. GOALS.

Last month, we had our yearly company meeting where we reflect on the previous year and the upcoming year. We did not just focus on the collective but we took time to really focus on our individual lives. There were four different categories written on sticky notes on the wall in which we had to complete accordingly. The four categories or groups were…

STOP: We listed something(s) that you will stop doing and that you refuse to carry into the future.

KEEP: We listed something(s) that have been working well for you, that you are proud of and that push you to be a better you. Things are things that you want to keep and continue doing. 

RISKS: This category contained things that should or do frighten us. Because we do not know what may be on the other side, it is a risk. Failure, rejection and other things may be the outcome.  

GOALS: In this category were things that we are striving for moving forward. Pretty self explanatory. 

Something so simple was so valuable and imperative. Everyone does this though, right? We create vision boards and have parties. We create resolutions and post them on our walls… NEW YEAR, NEW ME right?... but this was different for many reasons. I feel like we are often very hard on ourselves and jump to what we need to better about ourselves without actionable and truly understanding where we fell. This creates a cycle because we never really get to the bottom of what’s stopping us from succeeding. Or at least I have noticed this in my life.

For a long time, I had never written down any goals. Erik and I began doing so for individual and collective goals a couple years ago. If I can be honest, before then, it just was not my thing. 

Maybe I was turned off by the fad of vision boards.

Maybe because this was not something I was taught.

Maybe because I had never found a format that really worked for me.

Maybe it was because I did not value or understand the power of writing down your visions, saying things out loud and even having individuals around me who are holding me accountable, reminding me of those sticky notes and praying with and believing in me.

Maybe because I had never felt like I had so much to gain or lose as I do now.

I’m at a different point in life where every moment matters more. Every conversation matters more. Every opportunity matters more. Every gift that God has given me, matters more! It is my responsibility to live the life that I was given purposefully. 

So as a risk (lol), I want to share my lists with you. My hope is that someone is inspired to write their visions out and start somewhere. I have personally experienced the effects of this. It serves as a constant reminder when we lose our way and forget who we are. It serves as a reminder that we are greater than our past and have the power and tools to overcome. It serves as a reminder that we are strong and capable. Every time we are able to look at these lists and put our best foot forward, it is a reminder that I am still living and have the chance to be better, do better and live a life poured out. 

So… Here are some of the items that I wrote on my lists… 

STOP

  • Underestimating myself | I talk myself out of a lot of things that I feel I may be unequipped to do. I think about all of the reasons why I can’t because of this. I’m just gonna go for it. 

  • Negative thoughts | Often times, I jump to the problem of something. It’s not intentional and a lot of times I may not voice if verbally but I definitely think it. I try to foresee the worst possible which isn’t always bad. It’s what I choose to do or say in spite of. I know that I can improve my solution and faith-based thinking.

  • Stop being average | Produce what I know I am capable of, in excellence. There are times where I don’t give my all for different reasons. I allow my lack of confidence, talent and my thoughts get in the way of letting me be great. 

  • Being scary (lol) | This kind of ties into EVERYTHING lol. I have let fear have the last say in some of my dreams, visions and goals. I’m not where I used to be but there’s always room to be fearless. 

  • Only creating when I feel inspired... | It’s a terrible mind trick and habit. It’s already inside of me… these visuals and drawings and so much more. I just need to start. Whether it’s picking up my paint brush and just starting painting or taking my camera with me everywhere I go with the expectation of capturing something that is worth it. I sit and wait for inspiration when it’s there if I see it and pay attention. 

KEEP

  • Trying new things | I am usually scared but I have been doing it anyways. Lol. I’ve found some cool things that I enjoy doing. 

  • Being kind to others | I never know what someone is going through so the least I can do is be kind and show love to others… with wisdom of course lol. 

  • Working out | I started back working out and it feels great. I have always been athletic and it doesn’t feel good to feel out of shape.  

  • Investing in others |

  • Investing in my dreams and visions |

  • Creating | 

  • Talking to people more; being intentional about relationship building | 

RISKS

  • Getting a puppy | Taking care of a pup is like a second job. Lol. Been there, done that and i’m excited to do it again. We are in a different place and have more resources and time to take care of a pup than we did before. 

  • Building more relationships | Opening up to people puts me in such a vulnerable place. Can go super good and develop into a lifelong friendship or someone can take advantage of it. I don’t always know people’s intentions but it’s a risk I am willing to take.

GOALS

  • Reaching out, connecting with people (this is literally in every category so it’s a big deal lol 

  • Get a puppy

  • Picking up violin again | Haven’t played in 6 years and it’s not an easy instrument but I remembered how soothing and therapeutic it was. 

There you have it! As mentioned previously, I only listed a few… didn’t wanna bore you lol. Feel free to comment yours as well! I want to pray for you as you push to be better than you were yesterday. Thanks for reading. 

SEVEN. THIRTEEN. NINETEEN

This day will go down in history as one of the greatest and most memorable days of my life! I hope that all who celebrated with us got a glimpse of who we are (if they didn’t already know). I am so appreciative of every single person that was involved with making this day special. Whether you encouraged us leading up to the day or simply let your hair down and danced and became free! We are grateful! More specifically, I am thankful to our friends who have amazing talents and businesses that helped to bring our vision to life! From flowers to desserts to the venue... Continue reading to find out who did what and who knows, maybe they are perfect for your next event or party! Tell them Erik and Layah sent you! Also, if there is something I forgot to mention or that you noticed and had questions about, message me! 


Florist - Green With NV

Nathan is AMAZINGGGG!! He is gifted at what he does and does installations all over the city. All I did was simple give him a vision through pictures I had seen and demanded sunflowers LOL! He exceeded my expectations! During our first walkthrough, he brought his notepad and ideas just began to flow as we were walking around and describing what we hoped for! If I could’ve taken all of the flowers home, I would’ve but it makes my heart even happier that guests were able to take them home! Check out some of his work!

website: www.greennvgr.com

instagram: greennvgr


Dress - The Wedding Shoppe

Alterations - Bridal Elegance

I got so many compliments on my dress… not sure if people were just saying it because I was the bride and it was the right thing to do or why but when I saw this dress at The Wedding Shoppe in Berkeley, I knew it was mine to keep. My shopping experience was awesome! They were so welcoming! With the help of Bridal Elegance for alterations, my dress was made complete! Bridal Elegance made changes in a swift time frame and were so friendly and helpful!

instagram: weddingshoppemi

instagram: bridalelegancegr

Singer - Clarence Xavier Davis 

Clarence never fails!! LOL! His passion and gift shines through every time! He is always prepared, down to earth and very professional! Book him for your wedding, party, whatever you need!

instagram: c.xavierdavis


Venue - New Vintage Place

New Vintage Place is a hidden gem! This place got so many compliments! If you are getting married and have began the search for venues, you know the struggle and headache this process can be. Finding a place that can hold your desired amount of people and still have great scenery with a reception area… it’s not always easy depending on what you are looking for. A couple years ago, Erik made the renovation video for this venue when it was in the process of becoming the beauty it is today. Back then, he said we would get married here. He was right. New Vintage Place was the perfect match for us! Schedule a tour to find out more and see if it works for you!

website: www.newvintageplace.com

instagram: newvintageplace


Desserts - Cakabakery

We love Cakabakery! We had no doubts or questions when thinking about who would create our sweets! We stop into their Fulton location all of the time to pick up sweets on the go. Whether you’re planning an event or just looking for a sweet pick me up, visit Cakabakery!

website: www.thecakabakery.com

instagram: thecakabakery


Reception DJ - Adrian “AB” Butler

The hottest DJ in the city! I’m sure many of you reading this might already know about this energetic guy with the biggest smile! If you don’t know, now you know! His energy is crazy and did I say he was the best DJ in GR?! Check him out! Find out what event he will be at next!

instagram: abisadrianbutler


Makeup - Radiant Enrichments

Paige is one of the best makeup artists I know! Hands down! She knows what she’s doing! She takes her time but yet works very efficiently! She’s sweet and always professional. She did my face as well as the girls!

instagram: radiantenrichments

Wedding Favors - FIVE 14 

Looking for a great way to personalize your wedding?! Candles are go to! They’re neutral and let’s be honest, who doesn’t like candles?! FIVE 14 allowed us to personally select our favorite jars, size, top colors and scents to our liking w/ personalized stickers to top it off! FIVE14 does candle sessions as well! Book them for your next event or check out their website and order some candles!

website: www.five14.life

instagram: five14.candles


Hopefully something you saw may be useful to you on your wedding day or next event! I will be posting more from the day like some things I would’ve done differently or tips to help soon-to-be brides as they are preparing for the big day! So stay tuned!

XO



BRIDAL SHOWER

What were your emotions before the shower? Excited? Nervous?

Days before the bridal shower, I was excited and slightly nervous and anxious. However, It did not really hit me until the day of. I became very nervous. Hoping that everyone that was invited would come, that people would enjoy themselves and just have a good time. But it wasn’t a good nervous… I was worried for all of these things. Eventually I calmed myself down and thought about the worst that could happen, which was that no one would come and that people would not enjoy themselves. I was being dramatic but I had never really been apart of anything that was solely for me where the entire celebration was around me so I had no idea what to expect. After actually arriving and seeing so many faces that made me smile, I definitely warmed up and the nervousness went away fast.

The guest list, was it private?

Yes! The guest list was private and included women who have consistently surrounded me with love and encouragement and who I know will continue to be there to guide me during the next phase of my life and who I knew I would have a good time with! The guest list was about 40 people long. I think maybe 10 people ended up not being able to make it.

What was your favorite part?

THE ENTIRE THING! LOL… I don’t have just one favorite part. Aside from one activity that I really enjoyed which you will read about down below, I loved seeing people from different areas of my life in one room. It’s a rare thing so that made me happy and look forward to wedding day where there will be even more people from different areas of both of our lives together, getting to know each other, and having a great time!

Was the shower expensive?

I do not know specifically the pricing or range of the shower cost. My sisters planned and took care of everything. Which was kinda a great feeling.

What activities did you do?

Photo booth, two games “What’s in your phone?” & “Who knows the bride the best?”, create your own: flower bouquet.. and I think that was it. Super chill.

“What’s in your phone?” - Each person got a sheet of paper with lists of things that can be found in your phone. With each one you are able to check off, you get more points. Some of the items on the list were “If you have a text from the bride within in the last month” or “If you have a restaurant number saved”. The person that had the most amount of points at the end of the game won a prize.

“Who knows the bride the best?” - Each person was given a sheet of paper with “this of that” options. They had to chose what fit me best or what i preferred. They were given two options that were very different. For example, guests had to choose between “Chinese or Mexican” or “Country living or City living”. Each category that the person got right, earned them a point. The person with the most points at the end won a prize.

Create your own: Flower Bouquet - This was by far my favorite parts of the whole shower! Throughout the time, guests were able to go over to the flower station and create their own bouquet to take home with the. There were cute little decorations and also a vase included with the bouquet. I thought tis was so fun, different and SO ME! Flower decoration has been very therapeutic for me and I just love the creativity of it. The fact that the girls were able to do this and take something home was soooo cool to me!

Where was is?

My shower was at Lions & Rabbits here in Grand Rapids! It’s a local art gallery that is amazing and always has cool and creative pieces and scenery in it! It was just the right size and required little to no decoration and it was amazing!

Your decor was set up soooo pretty!!! What was the theme/main influence?

I didn’t really have a theme or inspiration. My sisters used the colors of the wedding to help guide the decor and Pinterest helped a little when it came to set up and vision. But there was no particular theme, I just had an idea of some of the stuff I did want and that I didn’t want.

Are you ready for the excitement of your wedding?

I AMMMM! I think lol. Things like this, I don’t really know what to expect and how to be “ready”… just ready to have a good time, hug friends and family for a few hours, laugh, take pictures and just have a good time! That’s what I am ready for!

How are you handling the transition of this phase of life? Are you overwhelmed?

I am handling this transition and phase pretty well! I don’t feel overwhelmed but I am at peace with the many blessings I have received thus far and I am overjoyed for what the future holds.

WANNA SEE MORE FROM MY BRIDAL SHOWER?? CLICK HERE!

NOW THAT GAME OF THRONES HAS ENDED...

Now that Game of Thrones has come to an end.... I am sure many of you are looking for more great tv shows to enjoy. No worries... I am here to help! LOL. As a person who loves tv series/shows just like many other people on earth, I find this topic very interesting to discuss and share with friends and others. I feel like I learn more about a person based on the tv shows, movies or just overall media that they are consuming. Continue reading to discover some really cool shows that I have been into lately or within the past few years. And maybe, go check them out if something sparks your interest. Feel free to even inbox me or comment below about your feelings towards any of these shows or even get me hip to some new amazing shows!

“INSECURE” - Comedy

For the past 2 years, I have been hooked on this hilarious show. Issa Rae (“Little”) stars as a black, middle aged woman living in the heart of Los Angeles who is as awkward as I am. The show explores her life as well as her other female friends and some of the things they experience. It covers a wide range of topics from relationships, sexism in the workplace, stereotypical barriers, gentrification and a ton of other things that I have found myself relating to at some point in time. Not only does Issa Rae star in the show but she also is a producer, writer, director and also THE CREATOR. Originally the show ran as a YouTube series titled “Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl”. Eventually HBO picked up the show and it has taken off. Why this show? Personally, I love being able to see myself in the narrative on tv… even if it’s just a little bit. No I cannot relate to Issa completely but there are some times where I can. Also, the show is very real timing which I also love. They don’t add an extra dramatized staring scene but It feels very real. Even the story line feels real. It is not a fairytale and I enjoy that. I find the awkward and comedic timing of Issa to be unique and it pulls me in and keeps me laughing. Not to mention, the aesthetics of the show! From the music, 90’s wardrobe worn by Issa, to the camera angles and editing! You have to check it out. You can watch the show online with HBO Now and catch up before the new season premiers.

“THE ENEMY WITHIN” - Drama/Crime/Action

THIS SHOW IS NO JOKE! It literally has me on the edge of my seat every time I watch it. Morris Chestnut (“Best Man”, “Rosewood”) stars as Will Keaton, an FBI agent who is on the hunt to find the man responsible for the death of his fiance and three of his colleagues. Starring alongside him is Jennifer Carpenter, as Erica Shepherd. Erica once worked for the FBI but became a spy and you have to watch the rest of the show to find out more. However, I will tell you, they both are “hunting” after the same person who has had a drastic impact on their current lives. The show is very new. It premiered earlier this year and just ended its first season.

Originally I was not sure about this show. There is no comedy whatsoever. I don’t even recall anyone smiling ever. It is all about the government and terrorist/spy relationship that may or may not exist. Expect to learn new things, tactics and also be prepared for the “government” language. You will get used to it. Why this show? I think the show is very entertaining and interesting. Similar to Insecure, it is in real time. Every detail is intricate in conveying a feeling. Whether there be no music and just silence, the players involved behind the scenes are very intentional. The show is a thrill and it’s only had one season so catch up! For now, you can watch it on HULU until the new season premiers.

“STATION 19” - Melodrama/Romantic/You might drop a tear… but you will giggle in the next scene

If you watch Grey’s Anatomy, you will love Station 19. In fact, it is a spinoff of Grey’s with a firefighter twist. Picture Grey’s Anatomy but with firefighters… I like it a lot. I will explain more for those that have not seen Grey’s. Station 19 is a drama filled show surrounding the lives of firefighters at Station 19 in Seattle, Washington. Personally, the show is not that realistic. I think that is why people love Shonda Rhimes so much and she is the creator of this show which is apart of TGIT. There are a lot of instances and experiences that have you thinking “there is no way this is happening at our local fire station”. But like I said, that is why people love Shonda’s creations. I’m still watching it at least and I love the show. It just completed its 2nd season and is rumored to not air again until next year… (what is wrong with these writers, producers, and people in charge). In the meantime, catch the first two seasons on HULU.

“ROSEWOOD” - Melodrama/Crime/Light Hearted… Kinda

If you are a friend of mine, you know I have been raving about this show for quite some time now. Morris Chestnut (Obviously I love shows with him in it) stars as a pathologist in Miami know as Beaumont “Rosie” Rosewood. His personal experience with death caused him to have a deeper appreciation for life. He teams up with Detective Analise Villa and together they help solve homicides in Miami. The show focuses on their relationship as a team and also their own personal struggles and skeletons. Why this show? I love crime shows that have a lighthearted twist and this show is exactly that. I am super mad because after 3 seasons, the show was canceled. But, you can watch the show on HULU or NETFLIX.

I would love to read about some of the shows that you have been feeling lately!

#ERIKANDLAY #LAUCHIEDAY

Hey SUNSHINE! Lol. As you probably already know, I am getting married very soon! I have gotten many questions throughout the past couple of months and I wanted to share my answers and experiences with you. Hopefully something I say is helpful to you or maybe you find interest in just getting to know me a little more. I’m cool with that too. So here are some questions below that I have received frequently or through my post on Instagram. I could talk about so much more so I am still open to any questions you may have! Maybe I will do a part 2! Just click on my contact page and shoot me an email or dm me on social media. Enjoy!

  1. Now that you are about to get married, how do you feel? Excited, anxious?

    • I feel amazing! I am definitely anxious and definitely excited! I am filled with joy! 1, of course for the big special day! All of our loved ones will come together and we get to celebrate with those who have been apart of our journey together. I am just excited! 2nd, I am overjoyed and blessed to have been chosen to do life with someone who I feel is the greatest. I look forward to all of the growing we will do together and to fulfill our purpose together. I am excited for this next phase of getting to know each other and continuing to do what we love! Not many people will experience what we have and I treasure it. So heck yeah! I am elated!

  2. What is the theme/colors of the wedding?

    • Theme? Nah. I pretty much just included everything I liked. Most people have like winter wonderland, red carpet and a bunch of other themes but Erik and I, not so much. I knew I wanted soft colors, lots of greenery and of course sunflowers and so I just allowed that to guide me! When we met with our flower guy, I referenced this beautiful place here in Grand Rapids called Frederick Meijer Gardens as an example of what I wanted people to feel when they walked in. I guess that’s a theme lol. I knew I didn’t want a ton of decorations with marbles and painted glasses etc. I knew I wanted everything to be minimal and simple like Erik and I and we want our personalities and who we are to be visible. So expect to see lots of green, different shades, some gold, and some sunflowers.  

  3. Do you have a wedding planner?

    • Nope! No wedding planner. We have done everything ourselves. I explain the vision and Erik helps execute… sometimes that’s making the call or sending the email. Quite honestly, I have no idea what I am doing. In the beginning, it was a little difficult for me because I pictured all of the weddings that I had ever been to. I thought about what people “normally” did and what I had seen. Eventually I said forget that and began to follow my own heart and our vision together for what we wanted to do as far as planning details. This has been pretty adventurous and fun. One of my favorite things so far has been designing our wedding invitations. I took my time and thought every detail through and I was passionate about making them. I also created our website which is what I do frequently as work for clients. It was easy for me and like I said, I enjoyed it!

  4. What are some things you had planned out before you were engaged? Did you have anything planned? Why or why not?

    • I did not have anything planned out prior to engagement. There were some conversations that were had between Erik and I as a couple discussing visions and expectations of the special day but nothing was planned or written out. We always just discussed general stuff such as size of wedding and what we wanted the day to be like overall. For example, we knew we wanted to do a lot of it ourselves as far as the knitty gritty work and planning. We also knew we didn’t want this big extravagant wedding but simple as mentioned previously. We have seen and been apart of a few weddings and know what we did and did not like so we had discussed those things prior to being engaged. Also, we had both considered who would be apart of the bridal party but this had not been finalized until we were in the planning process. Why did I not plan things out more elaborately if I knew what I wanted? I wanted to enjoy some moments and experiences during the stage of engagement. It’s apart of this season and so I wanted to experience it in that order. And, I just did not feel like I needed to do any planning.

  5. What have you found to be completely different than what you expected?

    • I was worried that things would become stressful with planning mixed with other things that are going on in my busy life but everything has been smooth sailing. Of course I have moments and days when I am thinking about everything that may not go right or that has to get done but I have a peace about everything because I am more concerned about my marriage. But, lol, I do have moments and Erik is always very helpful in helping me to stay focused and keep moving forward. You always hear that this season is stressful but I have been cool. And I am grateful for that.

  6. What are some things you have learned in this process? (Personally and/or relationship wise)

    • I have learned that I am not as stern as I thought or as other people think I am. I’m actually kind of a pushover. I need to speak up more or be more clear when I do not want something. It sounds so basic doesn’t it? I thought it was too. I and often worried about other people’s feelings over what I want but there is a time and place for that. It’s okay to speak up, especially when the decision will affect you. With that being said, I have learned that I don’t communicate as well as I thought I did or in the way I thought I did. Sometimes I have it in my head and it comes out another way but I feel like I am explaining it but I’m really not. I already knew this but in this process I have realized how much I really am independent. I am very quick to turn down help. Not because I feel like I don’t need it, but I genuinely feel like I have it under control. Also, I don’t like to burden people so I just do it myself. I also feel like it will be done the way I want it rather than having someone else do it and I am not as pleased.

  7. What has been the hardest part of planning?

    • I am not good at checking off to do lists. It drives me crazy. This has been hard for me in the process. I have not mastered the art of task completion when there are so many things to do. In the beginning, I spent more time thinking about everything that needed to get done rather than actually doing it. But it needs to get done so this has become easier and more manageable.

  8. What has been the easiest part of planning?

    • Erik and I have been on the same page about pretty much everything. There were a 1 or 2 minor things but we quickly came to a conclusion. This has made things so easy. Also, the help I have gotten from him. He has been very involved which is far from the “stereotypical” image we see of an engaged couple. It’s always one person planning everything, usually the bride. This is false in our case and he amazes me.

WONDERFULLY MADE

If you follow me on Instagram, you have probably saw me post a little about this on my story. If you do not follow me… what are you doing? You’re at home, sitting on the couch, doing nothing! LOL… follow me @layahquin

When I posted about this experience on my Instagram, I was not expecting the feedback and transparency that followed. When I post anything I am never expecting it but I am doing what I feel on my heart hoping that someone, just one person at least, can find themselves in my situation and not feel alone. Quite a few people responded to my story. Some with encouragement and others expressing how my transparency was right on time. I felt the need to talk more about it for those who found themselves in my position and others who have no idea what I am talking about.... So without going into too much detail, here it is.

As mentioned on Instagram, recently, a few situations caused me to feel pushed aside, forgotten about, inadequate and kind of questioning some of my relationships. If you know me, I am always extending a helping hand. I love helping and assisting people in any way that I can… especially those that I hold close to my heart. I love making people smile and lifting heavy weights by utilizing the gifts that God has given me whether it be creatively, cleaning floors, setting up decorations, whatever. No matter the time or place. I even crack a few jokes every now and then If you need me to lol. I had realized that a couple people close to me had no use for me. At least that’s how they made me feel and it was obvious. With no explanation. No transparency. This affected me greatly. I had questions about myself and others. I cried. I felt upset. I was hurt. Part of the hurt came from the expectations I had placed on these individuals. I expected them to want me to be involved. It’s commonly universal for people to want to receive the same treatment that they give in return which varies from relationship to relationship. I thought to myself, “If it was me, I would’ve at least communicated this to them because I value them and their feelings.” I realized that this was not mutual. Also, I felt inadequate. Insufficient. Lacking. I thought, “What am I not doing?”, “Am I not good enough?”...

I was willing to sacrifice my time and energy to be apart and give my all. I wanted to. But, I was not worth the inclusion or explanation.

Some time went on. I had taken on a project or rather an assignment. In fact, I was specifically selected personally to take part. I am documenting a life changing process and story of someone who grows closer to my heart every time we connect. This includes being able to have time in my busy schedule to capture moments with my camera and edit them. This means getting to know this person and spending time with her. Gaining a friendship and level of comfortability. When this opportunity was first mentioned to me, my heart sank into my chest. I did not know how I would gather up the courage during our time together. I did not know if I would say the right things or be mentally prepared. These doubts and questions quickly disappeared with an overwhelming peace and confidence. Fast forward, I realized that this task would have collided with some of the others that I was crying over not being apart of. As soon as this understanding and realization hit me, It took everything in me not to cry and become overwhelmed with emotion.

It was at this moment that I knew I messed up. Lol.

Conviction.

I began to feel guilty about questioning God’s plans and purpose for me. I did not know or see the plan at the time but God knew all along. I began to thank God for not allowing me to be apart of those other things. I would not have been able to have this opportunity if I was doing those other things. I was where I needed to be at the right time. I thanked Him for the opportunity he had placed in my hands. I promised him that I would handle it with care, love and to reflect him in everything I do and say in the midst of it. I was reminded of my purpose. He was making space for these moments and this task. He needed me to be free… mentally and physically. And he made sure of it. I don’t take it for granted.

I hope that my transparency resonates with you. Your value is not found in others. They do not dictate whether you are useful and adequate. We all have or have had these moments where we feel inadequate. I pray that in those moments we find the courage to seek God to find clarity, answers and for a reminder of who we are. And when we are reminded, I pray for an undoubting peace in knowing the prosperous plans that God has for us. I pray that as you are finding your purpose and walking in it, that you never lose sight of who holds your future.

If you find yourself in this space presently, here are some scriptures that have been reminders for me… Say them in your prayers. Make sticky notes and put them in your car or on your wall. ...Hide these scriptures in your heart.

JEREMIAH 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

ROMANS 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose

PSALM 37:4

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

PSALM 139:14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Feel free to share some scriptures below that help to remind you who you are!
XOXO

BE A THERMOSTAT

We are never done improving and growing. There will always be another level that can be reached whether it be mentally, physically, financially, spiritually or any other area. There will always be more. It’s just that our awareness for that next level is sometimes lacking. We feel that we have made it. Or, we meet that mark and rest there for too long forgetting this very important thing which is to keep striving for more and greater. As long as I am living, I never want to be in that place of feeling like I am done or like I have reached my destination. Balancing this can be tough sometimes. Applauding and being proud of ourselves but at the same time noticing that there is always room for improvement and greater. I know.

As I am becoming, I want to continue towards being the best version of myself. Constantly assessing myself. We come in contact with things and people throughout life that push us and guide us. Recently, Erik shared a devotional with me titled, “Be a thermostat, not a thermometer”. I’ve heard devotionals similar to this one before but this time it really shifted my mindset. 

Ever walk in a room and you can feel the tension and chaos? Or maybe you felt a conversation going a different way and it made you uncomfortable? Me too. After reading the devotional, I began to reflect on where I had fallen short. I am challenging myself to be more intentional in this area. Here’s why. 

We all have been in seemingly uncontrollable, uncomfortable situations or environments. For me, my solution was often to simply remove myself. It was just much easier to not be around it and seemed like the best route. Or like a thermometer, I would just stay in that environment and adjust to the temperature. My attitude and feelings began to reflect the current temperature as a consequence. I based my actions on the temperature that was already set. Looking back on many situations, I had more control than I thought or realized. I should’ve been the thermostat... I SHOULD BE a thermostat when I am faced with unpleasing temperatures. 

Something as simple as walking in the room and speaking to everyone has the power to change an atmosphere because you are showing love. Or speaking when you see someone regardless of how you feel. It’s not just for myself and peace of mind but having this thermostat mindset can impact others in the same environment as well. One part that really stuck out from the devotional said, “you never know when someone who has been having a terrible day or is going through a very challenging season of life will be impacted by God’s peace” and I’ll add love. And it’s true. As you and I are changing the temperature, others will be impacted for the greater. 

Your words have power. Speaking life into your situations and environments can shift them. Even before we are faced with these undesirable environments, we are given the opportunity to command the temperature when we start our day. Listening to worship music and being intentional with our prayers. Maybe you have an event or meeting coming up, speak life into it now. Or maybe there are specific crowds of people or places that have a reputation of having a particular temperature... command that environment now. Speak the Word, peace, and love of God into those environments. Be the thermostat when necessary. 

32 songs, 2 hours, 30 minutes →

Sup! Just stopping by to drop off a gem that I hope anyone who comes across it will appreciate and indulge in. We all experience so many different feelings, emotions and experiences within the span of of our days, weeks, and life happenings. Something else that we all have that can never escape us is music. I have yet to meet a person who says “eh… I don’t listen to music” or '“I’m not a music person”. Even if we try to escape music, it is all around whether it be in the background of our favorite tv show, playing softly in the background at work, on social media or from someone singing a song as you pass them on the street. It’s one of those things that is beautifully inescapable (I think that’s a word but if not… it is today). There are times when I find myself randomly singing words or melodies and I cannot remember where it is from. Sometimes it is original, other times, it’s from something that my ears have subconsciously picked up. Can you relate? Music needs no permission to enter your spirit, your heart, or your mind. What I love about music is that there is a song for everything. I think that is what it makes it so universal. Music has the power to awaken different feelings and emotions. Music inspires. Convicts. Uplifts. Encourages. Music is timeless. Challenges creativity and thinking. Music unites us. Much of what I do on a daily basis revolves around music. I love music. I love singing. I love the creativity that exists in music. I want to share this love with you guys. I have created a playlist on Apple Music that encompasses a few songs that uplift me. Just click on the title of this blog up above!

Although these aren’t even a quarter of the playlist in my head, these songs are the source of many of my car concerts. I hope that you enjoy this music just as much as I do, if not more. In return, I would love to hear some of the music that keeps you going! Feel free to comment or send them to me! ENJOY!

So sorry if you don’t have Apple Music :)… HMU and i’ll create a youtube playlist just for you!

TTYL.

It's okay to not do it all!

Lately, I’ve found myself in a place I never thought I would be. Having to make tough decisions regarding my capacity. My capacity to carry the load of others. My capacity to say yes to every opportunity and task presented to me. My capacity to say yes to the needs of everyone around me. The capacity to over extend myself. Previously, I had always felt like I could do it all and I loved it.

I’ve been torn with the reality that I will not always be able to do it all. I keep trying to convince myself that I can squeeze this in, and squeeze that in, and do this and that.

Recently, I realized that I was busy but unproductive. I was stretching myself so thin that I wasn’t putting my best foot forward and… make sense? Here’s another way to express it… 50 things/people were getting 10% of me rather than 20 things/people getting at least 100% of me! I knew I wanted and was capable of giving more in certain areas but things became exhausting. At school thinking about work, at work thinking about other work, etc. I was trying to put everything and everyone at the top of my priority list when realistically, that is difficult if not impossible. It creates a burnout. This was even affecting me creatively.

In all honestly, I am still struggling with this! I love being able to do everything, helping people and filling in the gap where I can but I don’t like disappointing myself or others because of my inability to balance and prioritize. It is hard to say no. Not saying no because I do not want to do it but no because I can’t put the adequate amount of time and energy into it. With this, I realized that I am not taking advantage of my time. Watching Youtube videos (that are not expanding or pushing me creatively) when I have more important things to do or could be watching something that I can use and grow from. Excessively on social media. It is very easy to get consumed in the things that may not be valuable or meaningful. Not grasping enough discipline or the concept that there is a time for everything.

As I am learning what is really important and valuable for my future, including SELF CARE (I haven’t had my nails painted in about 2 months and if you know me, I stay having a nice mani lol), I am excited and grateful for growth and this realization. I am also grateful for the opportunity and chance to realign myself and take a step back to launch forward.

I feel that many people around me struggle with this as well. Being busy but not productive. Some of us realize it, some of us have not come to this yet, some of us have mastered this for where we are right now. Where are you? Can you relate?

My prayer is that as our capacity expands, because we are always growing, that we really understand what our purpose is and how the things we choose to be apart of reflect this. That we don’t get burnt out because we are grateful for the time that we have and we are not wasteful of it. I pray that even as we are experiencing changing points such as these that our minds are at peace. That we remain positive and charged to be a better version of ourselves in every opportunity possible.

How are you using your 168 hours a week? (Thanks CoCo)… 168 hours a week!!!

Wanna talk more? Feel free to comment your thoughts or email me personally!

BEAUTY SECRETS!... BUT NOT REALLY

I cannot count the number of times people have asked me “What do you do to your hair?” or “What do you use on your skin?”… When they hear my response they are often shocked that the list of products I use isn’t more extensive. Sometimes less is more. At least for me. Here are few things to note that may contribute to my success with these particular products:

1. I don’t wear make up at all. I used to wear mascara but that’s it and I can’t even remember the last time I used it.

2. I haven’t straightened my hair in quite a while so I don’t have heat damage like I used to and I strive to use hair products that suit my natural curly texture since that’s usually how I wear my hair.

3. I don’t mix products. I am consistent with what I use and I stick to those products. In the past I have used multiple different products at the same time and have found this to be ineffective.

These are the products that I have found to be most successful!

ECO Styler Gel

ECO Styler has never failed me! This is the only product that has successfully controlled my edges through rain, snow, and HEAT! I’ve tried using so many different edge controls and none of them could tame my hair like I desired. I not only use it on my edges but I sometimes just slightly add it throughout my entire hair if I want a particular look. The moment moisture hits my hair it goes back to its natural state. However, ECO Styler does great with my hair no matter the circumstance! One thing I must mention is that this is not a product i would use on my straightened hair. ECO Styler is water based and as mentioned previously, moisture brings my hair back to its natural state which might ruin the hairstyle depending on what look you are going for. I 100% recommend this product for natural hairstyles.

Carol’s Daughter black Vanilla Shampoo and Conditioner

I love my Carol’s Daughter Black Vanilla Shampoo & Conditioner! There have been products I’ve really loved but the smell was just not it or they left my hair feeling dry and brittle. Carol’s Daughter always leaves my hair feeling and looking nourished. I specifically like the Black Vanilla scent because it’s not overbearing but it has a subtle, soft, and clean fragrance. The conditioner is great for detangling my hair. No matter what, I try to detangle my hair every 2-3 days at least. I used to dread this process because it was very time consuming and sometimes a little painful. This conditioner combined with my increased detangling routine has definitely made this process more enjoyable. Side note… As my hair has taken on a different texture over the past year, my curls are more defined and easier to lock up. The longer I wait to detangle, the tougher it is.

Burt’s Bees Face Wipes Cucumber (Normal to dry skin)

I literally don’t use anything else on my face! I use a wipe usually every morning but sometimes I’ll use one at night depending on my day. These wipes always leave my skin feeling so refreshed. My skin can be a little sensitive when it comes to rags or tissue but these are super soft and smooth. When I run out and forget to get new ones I can definitely see and feel the difference. My face gets dry and bumps sometimes appear. Sometimes it’s difficult to see the results of a product but these wipes have proven themselves since I started using them about 2 years ago. Also, the packaging is simple and great for traveling. You can also find a smaller travel size if need be!

If you have any questions about these products, feel free to click on my contact page or chat with me on social media! I’d be happy to answer any questions. Also, I love to learn about new products so if you have any suggestions, I’m all ears1

CHANGE IS HARD AT FIRST, MESSY IN THE MIDDLE, AND GORGEOUS AT THE END

*HEADS UP* I’m not a fan of writing so sorry if it sounds like I’m all over the place!

I could remember being in high school knowing what I wanted to pursue in life which at the time was to become a law enforcement officer. For some of my friends who are just finding this out about me, you’re probably laughing at the image of little Layah arresting people and fighting crime... I know.

Constantly I would hear “Are you sure you want to do that?”, “You’re so small”... however, I did not care and I knew this was what I wanted to do and my mind was made up. Time went on and I officially began my college career majoring in Criminal Justice.

Fast forward...

“What do you want to do after you graduate college?”...

The question I dreaded hearing because I wasn’t sure of the answer. I used to get excited to begin this conversation with people but now, I felt lost. I hadn’t settled in my mind what I wanted to do. I thought I knew what I wanted but things had changed. My interests were changing as I was developing passion for different and new things that I had never discovered before. I was still interested in Criminal Justice and the relevancy it had in our world but it was different than before. As I learned about all of the possibilities of this field, law enforcement became the last thing on my mind. I realized how broad Criminal Justice was and started to look in other directions, more specifically Juvenile Justice. Long story short, that wasn’t exactly it either. I felt off track.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen because it wasn’t apart of the plan and it’s not how this usually works."

This clouded my mind often..

Eventually, I started noticing the potential and possibilities in my passions and what God’s plan was for me. Looking back on things, it all had purpose. Example, I’ve always loved drawing. I would be in class tuned out drawing (after I had finished my class work of course lol). I would hand make things and post them on my wall and have notebooks full of drawings. However, that was as far as I could go. So I thought. Then I began to to discover ways that I could turn my drawings into digital illustrations. Next, I found myself getting paid to make logos. Pretty soon, I was making flyers for church and then getting paid to make event flyers outside of church. There were constantly new levels to be reached and as I was discovering them, I became more and more passionate. And let’s not get started with music. I can remember being so timid and shy in choir rehearsal at church and school as I was whispering the songs. But I would get home and just have an entire concert while I was in the shower. My mom would record me singing at home and threaten to let people hear it lol. And I was terrified! Fast forward, I’ve grown so much in ministry and learning to lead worship and building my gift. I’m blessed to be able to travel and see the world with a record label and minister with some of the greatest people and artists out right now. I am thankful.

In my mind and in my environment based on what I had seen and been exposed to, my options were small. I never imagined that I would be where I am today. It was always “Go to school. Get your degree. Become a police officer.” And even that was a reach for me. Often I doubted myself because it what I was trying to reach was beyond what I could see.

I couldn’t input other options or paths in my mind because I was so limited (I thought I was). I didn’t know any photographers, graphic designers, website developers, I wasn’t as involved in ministry, I never thought I would lead worship on Sundays and the list goes on. I had never read a blog that I can recall let alone create my own. I’m almost tearing up as I am writing this just thinking about the day I went to get my passport and reminiscing on my first flight ever which so happened to be out of the country to South Africa. My heart is filled with gratitude and willingness for whatever God has for me.

I’m excited to be graduating with my Bachelor’s degree in CJ pretty soon! Some may say “Why waste the time and money if you know it’s not exactly what you want to do?” Great question! For me personally, it goes far beyond money and time. I am grateful for the knowledge I have gained! Getting a degree is a huge monument for myself and within my family and in the lives of my children, grandchildren and generations to come. Today, I love when people see me with a camera in my hand or drawing in my notebook, and they ask “What are you studying?”. After they hear my answer, they usually give a confused yet interested to hear more face and it makes me smile. I smile because I am okay with the process. It’s one of the many constant reminders and signs of growth for me personally. I am not the same person I used to be. I understand that with each new chapter and level in my life, a new version of me is required. Fear cannot win over change. And if I am scared, I've learned to do it anyways lol. This mindset has gotten me to where I am today. I am able to be a testament of change. Hopefully this small but impactful chapter of my book will encourage others to be okay with change and embracing new things that will enhance you as a person.

NO FASHIONISTA

I've always loved everything about the 90's. Music. Movies. Tv Shows... and especially clothing. Think A Different World... High waisted jeans/shorts, overalls, oversized jackets and shirts! Often, my style is very parallel to the 90's whether it's intentional or not. It's rare that I'm trying to pull of a specific stye when I am getting dressed but my love for the 90's continues to be visible through my clothing choices. I am not at all a fashionista and I do not keep up with the latest and greatest trends and whose wearing what. I am just a girl who likes to look good and loves clothes and shoes.

SMALL GIRLS NEED LOVE TOO

Top: Brandy Melville USA (NYC)

All my life I have constantly heard how easy I had it... "Oh you're so small, I wish I was your size... It's so easy for you to find clothes".... NEGATIVE! Believe it or not, I struggle finding clothes that actually fit me. I'm too small to shop in most stores that sell women's clothing and my shape does not really allow me to fit children's clothing comfortably, properly or to my liking. Most of the time, the store may not even have my itty bitty size but I have somehow worked around it thanks to stores like Brand Melville USA who targets people who are awesomely small like me. I found this store during one of my visits to NYC in Soho. It caught my eye and as I went in and began to search through, I noticed that all of their clothes were ONE SIZE ONLY! At first I thought, "Who does this?" and then I realized that that one size was MY SIZE! Exciting right?! I know!

THE SON IS MY SOURCE

The sunflower is my favorite flower... I love how it resembles the figure of the sun. It always stands out even on the darkest of days. No matter how small it actually is, it stands tall and beautiful. It even gives off a bright yellow color that mimics light.

The sunflower is always seeking the light. In fact, it has been said that it intentionally positions itself towards the sun to get the most sunlight as possible. It knows that in order to receive the nutrients it needs to get energy it needs to constantly follow the sun, turning away from darkness and leaving the shadows behind it.

The Son is my source. What is your source? Where are you getting your nutrients?... the essentials that you need daily in order to be all that you were put here for... What/who are you following? What are you turning away from? What are you choosing to leave behind?

IT'S ALL APART OF THE PLAN

God never exposes you to things that you cannot have and access for yourself. The interesting thing about experiencing new things, food and places, it causes you to sometimes reflect on the old whether these are good reflections or bad reflections.. you reflect and you might even compare. Sometimes these reflections cause us to examine ourselves as well. Where we are in life, how far we have to go to meet a goal or how far we have come compared to where we used to be. We question if we truly can reach that goal and that dream... the answer is yes! Yes you can! God does not expose us to things that we cannot have nor does he give us things that we cannot handle... but that does not mean that everything is for us. There may require some refocusing, reexamining, and maybe a whole new goal and a fresh start. Persevere and push through. Sometimes we get discouraged and thrown off course but keep in mind the goal. It's all a part of the plan.